I’m reading an article in the Wall Street Journal about a mountaineering group who scaled Everest in 5 days. In the words of the WSJ, this “rocked the mountaineering world.” They did this by using a pre-acclamation routine with Xenon gas – in other words, they inhaled rocket fuel.
Apparently, this is highly controversial. Even Nepal’s prime minister complained that it is tantamount to cheating. It’s actually debated as to whether this is ‘doping’ in the mountaineering community. My advance apologies to the community: isn’t this sort of funny? We’re talking about a sport where almost everyone needs loads of supplemental oxygen in giant tanks carried by underpaid Napalis while wearing massive coats, using specialized hiking boots, staying in pre-established camps, but Xenon! Xenon is unnatural!
They raised concerns over others mimicking this and hurting themselves. They’re saying that people climbing the tallest mountain in the world, including over 2,700ft of the death zone where there is not enough oxygen to survive, might do something dangerous? Groundbreaking perspective.
I know I’ve written about mountaineering before as fundamentally arbitrary, but this takes the cake. But most everything is, with an exception soon to come. I learned about The Enhanced Games this week, set to take place in May 2026. The concept is brutally simple: an enhanced drug-friendly sports competition. Steroids allowed (if prescribed by a doctor.) I am excited for it, although it’s increasingly obvious this will not end well. In a real way, this is the truest method of understanding human potential than typical competitions. The most pure methods of competition are either completely unaided (like, running without shoes unaided) or using every possible enhancement. Anything in between is inherently arbitrary.
I know this take is impractical, purist, and somewhat annoying. Obviously we’re going to find a natural place of reasonable assistance. It makes no sense to have climbers wearing nothing, that would lower the stakes dramatically. But it’s important to consider these things when mountaineers complain of unfair assistance because of Xenon, and as runners raise concerns over shoes being too helpful. We’re just making up the rules of this world – they’re mostly fabricated.
I wonder if I feel like this because I’m young. Or, sort of young.
In one week I turn 28 which, according to my younger brother, means I have officially ‘reached unc status.’ I think I’m okay being an unc, by his definition most people are. What concerns me are the pitfalls of aging – not physical, although I do appreciate not having a sore back. Instead I mean the behavioral and mental pitfalls. The shift towards conservatism not just politically but also in lifestyle.
Being less explorative and more resistant to change. Complaining about Xenon, ect. Some of this is unavoidable, it’s just a fact that you lose mental flexibility as time goes on. What is less forgivable to me is the mental indignity that older people always seem to have towards youth. It’s a cliche. Old man yells at youth – “KIDS THESE DAYS”. Only, older people have been saying this since at least 399 BC.
“The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.” – Socrates (allegedly.)
It’s dangerously easy to do this as you get older. I’ve caught myself badmouthing the later gen Zers already. I’ve already seen Gen Zers take aim at Gen Alpha who are, keep in mind, largely children. What’s really baffling about this is that all of these older people know exactly the feeling of being young and condescended. Like, we’ve all been the victim of this, so it’s a nice monument to our hypocrisy that we constantly go on to commit the same sin. You can even get an editorial in the WSJ doing this shit.
One of my greatest pet peeves is when an older person says “do you even know what _____ is??” Could be VHS tapes, Prince, Blockbuster, doesn’t matter. I don’t think any older person has ever said this phrase successfully. Any time this has ever been said to me, I’ve known exactly what the thing was. So, it just serves to underestimate younger people and reveal the ignorance of the elder person to the breadth of knowledge younger people really have.
Yes, I know who John Lennon is, you are not some paragon of cultural wisdom because you know that. “But I lived it!” Great. Awesome. I lived through the rise of Chief Keef, so we’ve even.
Maybe this is all inevitable. Maybe you hit a certain age and the “fuck them kids” region of your brain fully develops. For now, in the twilight days of my 27th year, I think the kids are alright. If someone has a new idea that breaks some arbitrary made-up paradigm, we should hear them out. Sometimes if you do so, you can get to the top of Everest in 5 days. Rocket fuel indeed.
-Unc